Yahoo! counteroffers by proposing to buy Microsoft for $44.7 billion
Yahoocrosoft! could finally break the duopoly of Google, Lycos
Yahoo! Inc. (Nasdaq: YHOO) today announced it has given serious
consideration to the $44.6 billion purchase offer from Microsoft Corp.
(Nasdaq: MSFT). However, the Yahoo! Board of Directors has determined it would be more beneficial to both parties if Yahoo! instead purchased
Microsoft for $44.7 billion to form Yahoocrosoft!
The deal would pay Microsoft stockholders $4.80 per share, also conveniently redeemable as a voucher for one month of GeoCities Plus dial-up Internet access.
"At first, our offer might seem surprising, with Microsoft's value conservatively estimated at $284 billion," said Yahoo! CEO Jerry Yang. "But for a host of reasons, we feel Microsoft and its shareholders — possibly even Google — would profit from this decision in the long run."
In a conference call to shareholders held at 12 p.m. EST on Friday, Feb. 1, Yang outlined Yahoocrosoft!'s potential strengths as a parent company.
- Microsoft's structure is bloated with countless product and service divisions. Under Yahoocrosoft!, departments would be simplified into "Shopping," "Games," "Weather" and "Personals." All sub-departments would be color-coded and marked with adorable logos.
- Yahoocrosoft! would streamline Microsoft's training certifications to avoid confusion over titles like "Microsoft Certified Solution Developer." New Yahoocrosoft! certifications would include "HotJobber!" and "DataBoss!"
- A Microsoft takeover will undoubtedly spark anti-trust investigations by the Department of Justice. However, with Yahoocrosoft!, regulators and competitors alike would have little to fear from our chances at market dominance.
"Shareholders need to ask themselves," Yang said in closing, "which is more important? Having a new megacorporation that will stand up to Google? Or having a name that can still be yodeled? We believe the answer is obvious."